An Overactive Mind: Afraid to Love?
I am afraid to let people in. I have been exposed to a culture of belief that you will be left - regardless of your status, amount of anniversaries, whether you’re parents, etc. - it is inevitable. My parents got divorced when I was only two, and throughout my childhood they had the worst relationship, co-parenting was basically non-existent; if it was dad’s weekend, it was dad’s weekend, and that was that. The two of them used to even blame each other for their divorce, in front of us. Eventually though, but a little too late in my opinion, they started getting along better. Some time around my teen years I suppose - they became more lenient with court-ordered dates, allowed more freedom, weren’t such sticklers on time, and even stopped speaking poorly of each other. However, that did not stop the alienating conversations regarding relationships in this family. In fact, they’re still borderline depressing. My mother still speaks poorly of marriage. She acts as if it is perh...