Losing Mom: A Journey Through Grief (Part 4)
October 14, 2020 - Two Months "Was she afraid?" That question has weighed heavy on my heart for the last two months, and I could never bring myself to speak it to anyone, so instead I thought I would write it for all of you. It is a question that will continue to haunt me, because I simply will never know the answer to it, but is one that will hopefully lighten the more I acknowledge it's there. Part of me thinks that she was, or at the very least was uncomfortable, and when you're uncomfortable for unknown reasons, that can definitely spark fear. Mom had called multiple people that fateful night two months ago, myself included, and I can't help but think that I could have eased her fear a little by simply answering the phone. I have to remind myself that there is no way I could have known she was calling - my sound was off and I was asleep - but that fact does nothing to lessen my guilt. I do know that I couldn't have saved her, even the professionals cou