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Showing posts from July, 2021

Losing Mom: A Journey Through Grief (Part 11)

 July 28, 2021 - Mom's Birthday Happy 52nd and 1st birthday, Momma. You would have been 53 today.  Instead, you are eternally 52.  And it's your first birthday in heaven, which is so unbelievable.  I hope you're celebrating with today by hugging your beloved dad and drinking all the Coca Cola you desire, the caffeine can't keep you up any longer 💙 I tend to consider myself a pretty good writer, but I honestly could never express my emotions more clearly than Ben Platt has for me through his beautiful song In Case You Don't Live Forever.   I often tell my friend Emily how terrible of a daughter I feel the longer you're gone.  I think of everything I had to pick up doing around the house, and feel awful for not helping you more without your asking.  Sometimes I feel like I'm doing a lot of it alone, and I can't help but feel how full your plate must've been doing it all alone and raising 3 kids. I never ever ever took the time to tell you how much I l

Losing Mom: A Journey Through Grief (Part 10)

 July 14, 2021 - 11 Months July 8, 2021 I don't like when the mail says your name.  It feels like you should still be here.  Like you are still here.  It's something that, in my min, the world should know.  Companies shouldn't send you birthday letters.  The mail shouldn't even say your name on it anymore.  The world should honor the fact that you've passed, and also honor my heart in that they've recognized that fact. Don't get me wrong, I will accept every opportunity to talk about mom.  But there are some things that are little triggers to me.  July is her birth month.  August is her death month.  They're so close together...  And now we are already in July, which means August is practically tomorrow, which means I will basically be writing another one of these before I know it for the 1 year anniversary of your death.  1 whole f***ing year.  I don't know how to emotionally handle any of it. July 11, 2021 Last night I was scrolling through my snap