Losing Mom: A Journey Through Grief
August 20, 2020: One week after our last conversation. Do you think we can be angry when we get to heaven? Can we enter the gates and ask "why am I here?" Can we tell God that our earthly work wasn't done? That our children still needed us? That our mothers depended on us? Do we feel anger in heaven? Frustration? Sadness? I doubt it. I don't know why, but I do. I imagine earth-side mom saying all of these things - through cancer, surgery, hardship, general obstacles - but for some reason I can only imagine heaven-side mom feeling peace. To be honest, I envy her that. I want to feel peace. I don't want to carry around this burdening weight of sadness for another day, but I know it will linger for a long time. Similarly though, I'm glad it's here. If I felt absolute peace right now, I wouldn't have loved her enough in life to miss her in death. But the thing is, I miss her immensely. Too much, almost, if that's possible (it is). I'