Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
Perhaps I beg this question on the natural basis of my negative ways, but I also feel I can provide some facts to back my claim. My family and I are not immune to bad experiences - in fact, I believe they find solace within the confines of our family unit - considering how often they seem to occur. That timeline can become skewed based on mindset, I will admit, but that does not diminish the fact that one bad experience is devastating, even if fifty good experiences preceded it.
I have only been alive for 20 years. In the grand scheme of things, that's a very short amount of time, but it can also feel excruciatingly long at times. These 20 years have probably brought me 70% great experiences and 30% bad, but that 30% can easily feel overwhelming, unfair, and depressing. Especially when you feel as though all 30% has been happening in the span of a few years. Even more-so when you realize it only feels so long because it's been stretched out throughout your entire life - seemingly never-ending.
So why don't we see the 70% good experiences that way? Why is it so much harder for some human beings to appreciate and focus on the positives, instead letting the negatives flow and ebb at their shores?
I can list off multiple examples of my bad experiences to you:
-maternal grandfather passed away from cancer
-parents got divorced
-paternal grandfather was diagnosed with cancer (and eventually passed away)
-paternal grandmother also diagnosed with cancer
-maternal aunt's funeral
-father moves about 10 times
-mother is diagnosed with cancer
-father is hospitalized with a blood clot
-maternal aunt is diagnosed with cancer
-I stop visiting my step-family
-another maternal aunt's funeral
-maternal cousin loses their baby
My list could probably go on, but you get it...
And I know what you're probably thinking - "why doesn't this girl just stop dwelling on all of this negativity, and be appreciative of the wonderful things she failed to list and the life she continues to live?" - and to that I would honestly say "I don't know how." I have grown up in such a negative mental loop that it's not as easy as flipping a switch to turn it off. I would basically have to un-teach myself everything I have ever known, and instead teach my brain the complete opposite. That may sound dramatic to some, trust me I understand, but I have genuinely been this way for many years.
It is a goal of mine though - no, not a new years resolution, a genuine dream - to learn to become a more positive individual. It is entirely human to be negative and feel down, but not to an extent that clouds the obvious positivity from your view.
So, although you may feel as though your entire life is built on top of a crumbling foundation, and you may even have proof to back your claim, that does not mean your foundation cannot be fixed. Or, in a more dramatic (but sometimes necessary) sense, it could be completely destroyed, only to be built correctly the second (or third, fourth, twentieth) time around.
A bad day, week, or even few years will never dictate the entire direction of your life. In most cases, it takes some action on our own behalf - perhaps we need to drop our most degrading friends, or leave a toxic relationship, go to therapy, take up a hobby, move, quit our job, etc. - to turn over the engine to our new life.
Remember, your life can be 70% good experiences, and one of those 30% bad one's can (and will) throw a wrench in your life. But what is important is finding the balance between temporarily experiencing that sadness, and always letting your sadness dictate your life's experiences. I hope this year, and every new year we're all blessed to see, we all work harder to become happier, kinder, and stronger individuals. We only open our hearts and lives up to similar people, and never let our sadness drown out life's pure joy.
-Sarah
*Disclaimer: In no way am I comparing a negative mentality to depression, or claiming to understand depression on a personal or professional level.*
**Also: if you would like to leave a comment, mine are still not enabled yet (working on it). Please feel free to email me at sarahsinscriptions@gmail.com. Thank you!**
I have only been alive for 20 years. In the grand scheme of things, that's a very short amount of time, but it can also feel excruciatingly long at times. These 20 years have probably brought me 70% great experiences and 30% bad, but that 30% can easily feel overwhelming, unfair, and depressing. Especially when you feel as though all 30% has been happening in the span of a few years. Even more-so when you realize it only feels so long because it's been stretched out throughout your entire life - seemingly never-ending.
So why don't we see the 70% good experiences that way? Why is it so much harder for some human beings to appreciate and focus on the positives, instead letting the negatives flow and ebb at their shores?
I can list off multiple examples of my bad experiences to you:
-maternal grandfather passed away from cancer
-parents got divorced
-paternal grandfather was diagnosed with cancer (and eventually passed away)
-paternal grandmother also diagnosed with cancer
-maternal aunt's funeral
-father moves about 10 times
-mother is diagnosed with cancer
-father is hospitalized with a blood clot
-maternal aunt is diagnosed with cancer
-I stop visiting my step-family
-another maternal aunt's funeral
-maternal cousin loses their baby
My list could probably go on, but you get it...
And I know what you're probably thinking - "why doesn't this girl just stop dwelling on all of this negativity, and be appreciative of the wonderful things she failed to list and the life she continues to live?" - and to that I would honestly say "I don't know how." I have grown up in such a negative mental loop that it's not as easy as flipping a switch to turn it off. I would basically have to un-teach myself everything I have ever known, and instead teach my brain the complete opposite. That may sound dramatic to some, trust me I understand, but I have genuinely been this way for many years.
It is a goal of mine though - no, not a new years resolution, a genuine dream - to learn to become a more positive individual. It is entirely human to be negative and feel down, but not to an extent that clouds the obvious positivity from your view.
So, although you may feel as though your entire life is built on top of a crumbling foundation, and you may even have proof to back your claim, that does not mean your foundation cannot be fixed. Or, in a more dramatic (but sometimes necessary) sense, it could be completely destroyed, only to be built correctly the second (or third, fourth, twentieth) time around.
A bad day, week, or even few years will never dictate the entire direction of your life. In most cases, it takes some action on our own behalf - perhaps we need to drop our most degrading friends, or leave a toxic relationship, go to therapy, take up a hobby, move, quit our job, etc. - to turn over the engine to our new life.
Remember, your life can be 70% good experiences, and one of those 30% bad one's can (and will) throw a wrench in your life. But what is important is finding the balance between temporarily experiencing that sadness, and always letting your sadness dictate your life's experiences. I hope this year, and every new year we're all blessed to see, we all work harder to become happier, kinder, and stronger individuals. We only open our hearts and lives up to similar people, and never let our sadness drown out life's pure joy.
-Sarah
*Disclaimer: In no way am I comparing a negative mentality to depression, or claiming to understand depression on a personal or professional level.*
**Also: if you would like to leave a comment, mine are still not enabled yet (working on it). Please feel free to email me at sarahsinscriptions@gmail.com. Thank you!**
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