Sarah's Inscriptions

April 30, 2022 I've been thinking a lot about the notion of birthdays, given that today is mine (and Heather's <3).  We grow up celebrating the persons day of birth, their life, their aging.  I wonder why that is though.  We as the birthee have done nothing remarkable by simply being born on a random day.  The remarkability lies solely on the shoulders of a mother. Today for my birthday, I would like to celebrate the life that was my mother's, my grandmother's, and her mother before her.  Every mother that ever existed in my lineage, so that I may have been born beside my best friend early in the morning on the last day in April, in the late 90s, to a pair of parents that I certainly did not deserve. A mother uses her body to carry, grow, nurture, deliver, and carry their children some more.  They nurture them more post birth.  Every positive attribute I have today is because of my mother.  Every stubborn one too.  I recognize now, sadly e...

 April 20, 2022 - A sad night, out of the blue. Very suddenly just fully considered what it may mean to someday grow old.  To be 90, and probably have some genetic vision and hearing loss.  So at 90, my children and grandchildren, God willing, will have to do the chaperoning thing.  I will be picked up, driven to my own mothers grave, and reminisce.  Reminisce, as a 90 year old that spent 78 years without her mother, but holding dearly the memories from the 22 that we were gifted.  I will reminisce, as a 90 year old whose own mother probably didn't even think she would live to see that age, only to see 52.  And I will wonder how I got there, to be 90 at the head of my moms grave, chatting with her or with my children and grandchildren, the same way my grandma used to.  My hand being guided along the old headstone, though after all the years of visiting I need no help.  A soul-deep sadness that grips me at every drive out of the cemetery, simi...

 April 8, 2022 It's been a week for me - both physically and emotionally.   Last weekend I battled a 2-day bout with the stomach bug.  That ill-weekend had me missing taking my anti-depressants too.  Not only did I initially forget about them, but then I also wondered whether or not I should take them on an empty stomach, similar to tylenol.  Then it sort of just spiraled, if I'm honest.  I began to notice no difference at all in my mental health, so I started believing that the medicine wasn't working (as I have often thought, if I'm honest).  But then I started feeling better, and I finally returned back to work, and I was just sad.  Not to be there with the children or my lovely coworkers, not even for any reason in particular, I just was.  Because my body on its own does not produce enough of that happy stuff, whatever my doctor called it.  So it turns out that my medicine has been working, go figure.  I have resumed taking...