Love: Why It's Okay to Give it to Yourself
Another topic I was asked to discuss was actually recommended by my sister, Heather; declaring time to discover your self-worth and love. Thanks for your endless support! So, without any further ado, here is my opinion on this topic!
I think one thing women especially come to believe is that our sole purpose is to be a caretaker. We spend so much time making sure everyone else is fed, happy, sheltered, warm, taken care of, etc., that we completely disregard our own well-being (or at least put it last).
I will never say that being selfless is a negative, it is not a bad thing by any means; selflessness is bravery. However, selflessness to such a staggering degree that healthy amounts of selfishness are non-existent, is not. Human beings, not just women, need self-care and love. It is important from to have from other people as well, but not nearly as much as from ourselves.
I will always stress this - you are the only company you are guaranteed to have in this life. Treat yourself like you do your best friend, your family, your idol, your pets, anyone/thing you love and have a deep respect for.
A common misconception though, I think, is that we, women especially, can not love another completely until we love ourselves as a whole. Which is quite comical, considering our lineage of being the caretakers.
The same thing could very well be said about men, but that is not discussed nearly as much. Mental health and self-love do not seem to be topics men talk about as much, but their lack of such could make them just as "incapable" of loving another person.
And that is not a crime. It is not always the right time to give your heart to someone else. It is completely acceptable to never want to at all. It is great to take your time, be a little selfish, mess around and love yourself. You could have all the self-confidence in the world since you were 12 or 17, or not gain any at all until you are 40.
There is no timeline for loving yourself. But it should always be one of your top priorities.
Life is short. Bungee jump, travel the world, write a book, start your dream business, fall in love with someone (when you are ready), take care of yourself.
And always remember: there is no universal timeline for finding "the one". Declare x amount of time toward creating a relationship with yourself before getting into one with another, if that's the way you want to do things. Or fall in love with another and yourself simultaneously. Or don't fall in love with another at all. But please, whichever you choose, always include yourself. And if people scoff, and deem you selfish for doing so, smile and say "thank you for noticing I am taking care of myself. I will not apologize for that."
Rupi Kaur wrote:
what is the greatest lesson a woman should learn?
that since day one
she's already had everything she needs within herself
it's the world that convinced her she did not
Remember that.
I think one thing women especially come to believe is that our sole purpose is to be a caretaker. We spend so much time making sure everyone else is fed, happy, sheltered, warm, taken care of, etc., that we completely disregard our own well-being (or at least put it last).
I will never say that being selfless is a negative, it is not a bad thing by any means; selflessness is bravery. However, selflessness to such a staggering degree that healthy amounts of selfishness are non-existent, is not. Human beings, not just women, need self-care and love. It is important from to have from other people as well, but not nearly as much as from ourselves.
I will always stress this - you are the only company you are guaranteed to have in this life. Treat yourself like you do your best friend, your family, your idol, your pets, anyone/thing you love and have a deep respect for.
A common misconception though, I think, is that we, women especially, can not love another completely until we love ourselves as a whole. Which is quite comical, considering our lineage of being the caretakers.
The same thing could very well be said about men, but that is not discussed nearly as much. Mental health and self-love do not seem to be topics men talk about as much, but their lack of such could make them just as "incapable" of loving another person.
And that is not a crime. It is not always the right time to give your heart to someone else. It is completely acceptable to never want to at all. It is great to take your time, be a little selfish, mess around and love yourself. You could have all the self-confidence in the world since you were 12 or 17, or not gain any at all until you are 40.
There is no timeline for loving yourself. But it should always be one of your top priorities.
Life is short. Bungee jump, travel the world, write a book, start your dream business, fall in love with someone (when you are ready), take care of yourself.
And always remember: there is no universal timeline for finding "the one". Declare x amount of time toward creating a relationship with yourself before getting into one with another, if that's the way you want to do things. Or fall in love with another and yourself simultaneously. Or don't fall in love with another at all. But please, whichever you choose, always include yourself. And if people scoff, and deem you selfish for doing so, smile and say "thank you for noticing I am taking care of myself. I will not apologize for that."
Rupi Kaur wrote:
what is the greatest lesson a woman should learn?
that since day one
she's already had everything she needs within herself
it's the world that convinced her she did not
Remember that.
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