Heartache and Holidays

It is currently still Christmas Eve where I live, but I am not feeling the joy of the holiday's...

Today, unfortunately, my family heard of the passing of a beloved family member.  It can be exceptionally complicated to deal with grief during a period of time that is supposed to be full of love, joy, and peace.  Grief, regardless of holidays, can be complicated to deal with on its own, but when you add in the very opposite emotions of the spectrum, that you believe are necessary to feel during these times, exuding sadness can make one feel guilty.

I currently don't feel guilty.  I feel sad, and that's that.  I don't feel a responsibility to be happy, despite the holiday tomorrow.  I feel the responsibility to myself to exude my emotions honestly, and applaud myself for such.  A family member has left this Earth, to be greeted by God and their loved one's in Heaven.  The only complicated feelings I have are over that.  I know they are no longer suffering or in pain, and are now reunited with those they once lost; but I am also distraught in the knowledge that I will never see them again, never give another hug, never hear their voice.

I hope, regardless of the timing of the passing of a loved one, you offer yourself the proper time to be sad and heal.  Christmas will not be the same for me this year, similar to how it wasn't 11 years ago after my grandfather passed.  And that's completely fine and normal.


*I celebrate Christmas, but this obviously can apply to anyone suffering from any heartache over any holiday.  Regardless, I wish you peace if you are suffering during these otherwise joyful times.  Happy Holidays to all!*

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